I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
