Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
