He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
