I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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