She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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