why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
