Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
