Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
the liver wants what the liver wants
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
