I have demons in me.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
