just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
