haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
