it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
