When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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