I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
