you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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