His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
