Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize