If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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