I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
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He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
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i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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