"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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