She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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