eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
