My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
