try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
