Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
