I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
