It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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