Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
