She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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