Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
