she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
