I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
