it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
