The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
