You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
