Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
