I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize