"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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