garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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