your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
