I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
