ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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