I just made out with a guy for $7.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
tell me about the eggs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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