She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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