I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm passing your future prison.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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