He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
