R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it glows. i had to have it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
