Me. At least after what I've been through.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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