There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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