Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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