Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
