we're blogging at a bar
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
