Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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