You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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