Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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