did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
